all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
