chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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