"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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