my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
