Your face is a jimmy john
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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