Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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