I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize