Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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