Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
