"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
