C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
