I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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