Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
