went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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