remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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