Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
