If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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