I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize