got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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