do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
