So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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