i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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