Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
