I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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