It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
