If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
