Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
