did you get engaged???
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
