I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
