would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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