I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize