Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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