I didn't shave. On purpose
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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