I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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