he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
