in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
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Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize