I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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