we have pet lesbian snakes
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Randomize
