so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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