No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i will never coherently bang her
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
