honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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