He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Ladies don't puke and tell
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
