My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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