I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
