Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.