kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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