i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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