I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
