you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It's blow job season.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
