Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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