i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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