Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Couch. On fire.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
