I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Let the clothes fall where they may.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
