Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
