Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
