tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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