weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He kissed a someone with a penis
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
