Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
